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Writer's pictureRei Ryugazaki

why i see my body on a funeral


(music backgroud forever love by xjapan)



when i watch a anniversary episode of popular noontime show perform the final production and i imagine my self if i committed suicide and stop tweeting and some japanese and pinoy cosplayers shocked about what i do mahirap pala gawin all because of the depression strike me actually 2014 and 2018.



i watch this performance actually i feel the emotion on the production when i read line's on the production i will translate to the line's so anyone can realize


"the painful truth in this pandemic

is that many of us are lost

many of us are suddenly withdrawn

many of us are suddenly left behind

but what is more than painful is painful

is that we are not even given the opportunity

the proper to say goodbye

to our loves one's

we did not even peek at the last moment

we didn't even hug

to our grieving loved ones

six letters one word

at the time we spend

we did not

so many have yet to be released

because there is pain that interferes

so now

we sympathize together

breathe deeply

the past will be accepted

the present will be dealt with

we will be hanged in pain

but in hope clings

we will meet again

on the day of the unknown

but for now

six letters one word

PAALAM (GOODBYE) "


and i watch their performance until the end and i get cry because imagine if i committed suicide and some cosplayer i can't meet again local or foreign due i committed suicide and i see saya kun ,miko kun ,hana chan in heaven but i can't see more anime and cosplay anymore but my love one's will see crying tapat pupunta ako sa church for my thoughts about why i most be live.

now i need to have a free checkup for my meditation and find a earn for my healing.


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